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Fri Jul 30 18:11:33 UTC 2010
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The Older Man
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The Older Man
One man\

on July 27, 2010
by judowolf in Life Missives,
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The F Word Adds Flare To Conversation

Reading time: 2 – 2 minutes
Leaving CVS the older man overheard a couple arguing – F bombs were exploding all over the pavement. Walking to his car he remembered the first time he heard the F word on the docks in Boston Harbor where his father worked for a tugboat outfit. His relationship with the F word continued in the military where it was used more than sir was. He adopted the F word as part of his daily vocabulary, and when told it was a highly offensive term, would reply – What’s your f***in problem? The older man is not bothered by the negative connotation that the F word carries, as the listener has no doubt, what is being said.
The F word is volatile, unpredictable, touchy, and above all shocking to many and when uttered some are dumbfounded. The F word’s diversity bestows it with power, which jolts people especially those who are offended, disgusted, or interpret it as improper. It adds hunger, passion, and controversy like no other word – never being misinterpreted.
The older man drove slowly through the parking lot avoiding the craters as the couples F bombs continued to fall. He knew his children picked it up from him, will pass it on to his grandchildren, and hoped they will enjoy using the F word as much as he does.
With kindest regards, Judowolf

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The Terror Clock Should Be Prohibited And Exiled From The United States

on July 23, 2010
by judowolf in Life Missives,
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Reading time: 2 – 2 minutes
The older man owned a terror clock (aka alarm clock) once, when it went off, it scared him half to death, and he threw it up against the wall smashing it into a trillion pieces. That moment was a highlight in his life and the last time a terror clock graced his home. He replaced it with a radio alarm clock, a gentler waking machine, which woke him to smooth jazz music.
The terror clock was invented by a pilgrim who worshipped the Protestant work ethic – its sole purpose was waking people up so they would be on time for work. The only time this clock is beneficial is for a fisherman who is going out at the crack of his buttocks or a golfer who schedules a tee time at sunrise.
Cavemen woke up on their own to hunt Mastodons. They were clear headed, which helped them to prevent injury or death, as that would be a bad day at the office. A buzzing terror machine unnerves a person, and it takes hours to get back on balance causing production at work to slide. The best way to awake is gently so people can re-acclimate to the awareness state without being traumatized.
The older man wakes up at his leisure or his wife wakes him gently resulting in total awareness making him ready for his day.
With Kindest Regards, Judowolf

Are You Screwed If You Don’t Own A Cell Phone?

on July 19, 2010
by judowolf in Life Missives,
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Reading time: 2 – 3 minutes
While on vacation the older man played golf with his son-in-law Shurmon who gave him a beat down. They laughed and joked about the game as Shurmon put the golf bags in his trunk and then left to retrieve his children from the babysitter. The older man had to pick up his brother at 5pm from work but had sufficient time, as it was 2:45, and only 50 miles away. Approaching the car, he reached in his pocket and the only thing there was five years of lint. Light dawned over Marble Head at this moment when he realized his money and wallet were in his golf back on its way to his daughter’s house 30 miles in the wrong direction. He kicked himself in the buttocks twice (at his age it was hard to do), sat in the car, figured out his options, and for the first time wished he owned a cell phone. This wish was very brief, as one was not going to materialize so he would have to devise a plan.
The gas gauge told him he could maybe go 20 miles, which might get him to another daughter’s home. Arriving at this daughter’s home, he knew nobody was home as the driveway was empty. Fate was on his side as the next-door neighbor came out of her house, going over to her; he explained the situation. She listened intently and when he finished, laughed for five minutes, told him he should own a cell phone, gave him 20 dollars, and sent him on his way.
It was 3:45 and passing a McDonalds almost pulled in but the gas fumes coming out of the tail pipe directed him to the nearest gas station. He was 70 miles from his destination, had plenty of gas, did not have his license, and prayed there were no radar traps, as going to jail was not on his agenda. He pulls up in front of his brother’s work placed at 5:15, his brother got into the car and the older man began narrating his story, and when he finished his brother laughed hysterically, and told him to buy a cell phone.
The older man enjoys solving problems the old fashion way, it keeps his mind sharp. The convenience of a cell phone would have been helpful but as you can see, there are always other options. By the way, the older man still does not own a cell phone.
With kindest regards, Judowolf