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		Break Supplies
		Posted by PkWynn on December 28th, 2009 | 2 comments


		During a lull in the early-evening rush, I collect go-backs from the checkstands and start off to put them back on the shelves: a brick of cheese, a bottle of beer, a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream.
I pass a woman in front of the customer service booth, who gestures to me as if she needs help. She stops before asking her question, noticing my armload of products and saying innocently, “Oh, I’m sorry – are you going on break?”
I tell her I’m not, and help her with her question, all the while quietly amused by her appearing to think I bought the above-mentioned items for my break. I can’t help wondering where the brick of cheese fits into the equation.
Submitted by J.J. the Courtesy Clerk












        
		
        
		
        

	

     
     
      



	   
	
	
        
        
		Christmas Eve at the Grocery Store
		Posted by PkWynn on December 25th, 2009 | 4 comments


		Exhausted.  Working on Christmas Eve is absolutely crazy.  Thanksgiving Eve had nothing on what happened today.  Long lines, bad attitudes, shoplifters and giant orders is the theme of this work day.
Even with every checkstand open, the lines were contorting to wherever there was space on the floor.  Mostly going towards the aisles and the end checkstands such as #1 and #6 were wrapping around the water display and magazine racks.  No one was leaving, regardless of how long the lines were.
Many customers were irritated with the long lines.  There wasn’t much we could have done because every checkstand was open.  One guy who was annoy of line fiasco, took his aggression out on me as I was checking out another customer, “You guys need more checkers!”  “Sir, all the checkstands are open.”  I said hoping to diffuse the situation.  “Then you need more checkstands!”  Yeah… give us a second while we put some cardboard together and get that going.
With the busy day, shoplifters were lurking.  If people were buying shopping cart full of stuff then shoplifters are stealing shopping carts full of stuff.  We saw a cart by itself loaded with laundry detergent, diapers, steaks, turkeys, padded with bags of chips on top.  We waiting til the owner of the cart came back because we wasn’t sure if they were shoplifters.  Well this couple pushed this cart towards the door and we stopped them and asked them if they paid for it.  “Uhh yeah.”  “Oh do you have the receipt?”  I asked, sarcastically.  They panicky checked their pockets as I’m slowing pulling their cart away.  “Don’t have it.”  The man says while looking down.  “Aww.. no receipt, no diapers.”  I sarcastically said again.
I’m astonish with why shoppers still do things at the last minute.  I understand if its a few things that are needed to be picked up but a whole shopping cart of stuff?  It was mad, large orders of $100 dollars or more were coming in one after another.  The largest total I had for the day was $620 dollars!  That’s 3 shopping carts full of stuff!  Don’t get me wrong, I happy that people are coming to our store but this is crazy, it happens every year.  We close at 7 PM but we ended up closing at 7:40 PM.  I made several announcements counting down the minutes and even with the closing one, people ignored it and continued shopping.  I made another closing announcement and one said, “Can we get out still?  I thought he was joking but he looked serious as he was waiting for an answer.  I pointed toward the double doors and he ran out.  He ran.  With the door closed, people outside were trying to sneak through the doors.
Closing up, I walked out to parking lot towards my safe haven, the lone car in lot.  As I was warming up my car.  I see a van pull up in front of the store with a girl running at the door and put her face against the windows looking to see if anyone would let her in.  Traumatized by Christmas Eve, I took a deep breath and drove home.








        
		
        
		christmas eve
        

	

     
     
     
	   
	
	
        
        
		1 More Day til Christmas
		Posted by PkWynn on December 24th, 2009 | 5 comments


		Today was our Christmas party, the company provided us with food and refreshments because our store had perfect scores on our secret shops.  All you can eat vegetable trays, sandwiches and sodas were provided by the deli.  My co-workers ate so much that it was hard for them to go back to work, they kept asking for extra bathroom breaks and our store water system is shut off because of the construction work that’s being done in our building…go figure.
It was a tad slower than expected at the grocery store.  We loaded up with extra checkers and courtesy clerks but the problem with that was we needed more customers.  The whole day was just spurts of people and mostly big orders from $100-$350.    Undercover security showed up today as well because shoplifters like to take advantage of the busy days before Christmas.
They apprehended a 14 year old who was trying to steal (2) 22oz bottles of Corona beer.  They’ve been watching him for quite some time when he decides to run out the door with the bottles in hand.  They ran after him and told him to stop but he just kept running.  They finally caught up to the boy, put him in handcuffs and brought him back to the store.  While in the break room enjoying the free food, I can hear the boy struggling and swearing at the officers as they were trying to bring him to the back room for briefing.  With a cupcake stuffed in my mouth. I listened as the officers were asking him questions…
Youngin’ caught Runnin’:  I’m going to sue your asses.
Undercover Security:  Little shit, punch me in my throat!
Youngin’ caught Runnin’:  I’m not going to tell you anything!
Undercover Security:  Make it easy on yourself, why you do it?
Youngin’ caught Runnin’:  Nope.
Undercover Security:  Fine, well call the cops and they’ll call your parents.
Youngin’ caught Runnin’:  My friend dared me to.
The boy starts crying…
Youngin’ caught Runnin’:  [sobbing] Please let me go, I won’t do it again.  I’m sorry.
Undercover Security:  Most kids steal gum or candy but you took alcohol and then you punched me.
Youngin’ caught Runnin’:  [still sobbing]  …
The police finally came and took the boy away.  I can’t imagine how his parents would feel once they find out about this incident.
One more day til our grocery store closes on the only day of the year!








        
		
        
		
        

	

     
     
     
	   
	
	
        
        
		Grizzly vs. the Button
		Posted by PkWynn on December 23rd, 2009 | 1 comment


		On the far-end can machine, the button you push to receive your ticket to redeem your recycling deposit is a bit gummed-up. You don’t need some special trick to push it; you just need to give it a little “oomph”. When a frail old lady comes to me and says the machine won’t give her her ticket, I’m glad to come push the button for her and hand her the ticket. “Oh, I just didn’t push it hard enough!” she’ll laugh, and she’ll thank me and be on her way.
Today on my way past the bottle room, I’m stopped by a scowling, disgruntled man with a full beard. Beefy, over six feet tall, dude looks like Grizzly Adams. “This machine won’t give me my %!@#?&! ticket,” he growls.
From the look on his face and the snarl in his voice, dude’s ready to press charges or put his fist through a wall. A little premature, no? In any case, cussing at the fix-it guy hardly seems like the most effective means of motivating him to actually try and help you.
Without a word, I go to the machine, press the button, hand him the ticket and walk out. He, too, says nothing. He could snap me in half like a twig, but the pressing of a button has proven an insurmountable challenge.
Submitted by J.J. the Courtesy Clerk












        
		
        
		button
        

	

     
     
     
	   
	
	
        
        
		Dim
		Posted by PkWynn on December 22nd, 2009 | 3 comments


		“Excuse me,” calls an irritated voice from the bottle room as I walk by. I stop to see a dapper young man standing in front of one of the recycling machines with his girlfriend and a cartload of cans and bottles.
I ask if they need help.
“This machine is absolutely broken,” he pronounces. “It’s not accepting what we put in, even though we bought them here and they’re this store’s brand.”
“Oh,” I say, “some containers’ codes haven’t been programmed into the computers since the new bill passed. Just set aside what it doesn’t take and I’ll hand-count them when you’re done.”
“I certainly hope so,” he says as I go about my business. “This is ridiculous.”
A moment later, it dawns on me that he was holding a can. I peer back in and ask, “Uhh, are you putting cans into the plastic machine?”
Both Dapper Irritated Man and DIM’s girlfriend turn back to the machine, on which, almost exactly eye-level with both of them, is emblazoned in large block letters: “PLASTIC.”
To his credit, he did not grumble or lash out, but openly proclaimed feeling like an ass. For this reason, I laughed it off and assured them I’d done similarly silly things.
To acknowledge one’s own DIMness is the first step toward recovery.
Submitted by J.J. the Courtesy Clerk










        
		
        
		dim
        

	

     
     
     
	   
	
	
        
        
		Not What They Appear to Be…
		Posted by PkWynn on December 21st, 2009 | 7 comments


		Getting a job nowadays is very hard and around this time it’s usually only seasonal positions.  We have a new person working with us and she’s a part of the night crew.  The first week she was good as advertised.  She listened, quick learner, and she was very, very fast at stocking.  Then we find out that our boss will be out until January 2010 because of a death in the family.  That is when our new co-worker decides to start showing up to work late and her skills…regressing.  Sloppy facing the store, leaving early, and worst of all, talking about other co-workers.  We find out that she was “let go” from another grocery store after 10+ years of service because she wasn’t getting along with her co-workers.  Last night she called in sick…
Me:  It’s your neighborhood grocery store.  This is Paul, how may I help you?
The New One:  Hey, it’s me…
Me:  Umm… OK… who’s this?
The New One:  Terri.
Me: Oh, hey!  What’s up?
The New One: I’m sick.  I won’t make it to work tonight.
It’s very hard to find coverage for night crew and since I’m closing manager, I can’t leave the store until another person shows up because there has to be at least 2 people in the store at all times.
Me: OK, well if you’re sick you’re sick.
The New One:  Don’t worry, Xavier can handle it.  The grocery load is going to be small.
Damn, I have to stay an extra 2 hours, but hey, it’s a small load.
Xavier walks in and I tell him Terri called in sick…
Me:  Yo!  You’re solo tonight.  Terri called in.
Xavier:  What!  No way!
Me:  She said she wasn’t feeling good and the load is small.
Xavier:  Small my ass!  We have more than 400 pieces to do! 
400 pieces!  I said to myself…
Looks like I better eat something because its gonna be a long night.








        
		
        
		not what they appear
        

	

     
     
     
	   
	
	
        
        
		Walking Barefoot in the Grocery Store
		Posted by PkWynn on December 18th, 2009 | 9 comments


		Many public establishments do not allow walking around barefoot because of liability issues.  At the grocery store I work at, our policy is no shirt, no shoes, no service, but people still do it anyhow.  For whatever reason people do so, just walking in the parking lot barefooted is disgusting because you really don’t know what you’re stepping on and considering we’re in the Northwest, which rains constantly, there has to be a more reasonable answer…
Checker Jenni signals me over about a person walking barefoot in the store.  I approach 2 guys wearing black skinny jeans and fluorescent color t-shirts, bright orange and lime green respectively.  The one in the bright orange shirt has on sandals and the other in the lime green shirt, barefoot.
Me:  Hey guys, you can’t be in the store without any shoes on.
Sandals Guy:  I have shoes on.  He doesn’t.
Barefoot Guy: Dude, those aren’t shoes, they’re sandals!
Me: OK, well, sandals guy you can stay and barefoot guy you can sit on the bench inside the store until he’s done.
I walk away and about 3 minutes later, I see the barefoot guy in the motorized scooter for the handicapped.
Me: What are you doing! 
Barefoot Guy: Shopping for groceries.  You said I couldn’t do it barefoot.  I’m not walking around.
Me:  That’s for the handicapped!
At this point, I’m really annoyed as I watch him park the scooter.
Barefoot Guy: My friend probably doesn’t know what to buy!  He’s taking too long!
Me: I’ll go see where he’s at.
I head towards the aisles to look for his friend, when I see…
The guy in the bright yellow shirt with sandals pushing a shopping cart with the barefoot guy in it!
Me: Are you serious!  What are you doing!
Barefoot Guy: I’m helping him shop!
Me: Both of you out!
They both walk out the store when the barefoot guy turns around and says…
Barefoot Guy: Can I use the bathroom?
Me: …
What a day…








        
		
        
		barefoot
        

	

     
     
     
	   
	
	
        
        
		Don’t Double That Bag!
		Posted by PkWynn on December 17th, 2009 | 9 comments


		Working in a grocery store, we are trained to fill bags to their maximum capacity to save costs.  But to our own judgment we do what we think is substantial for our customers to carry their groceries home in one piece.  At times, it is necessary to double bag groceries but many customers feel it is unnecessary to do so even at the checker’s discretion.  Now I’m all for being against plastic bags, but they are usually the best option with handles to better carry groceries unless the customer provides a reusable bag.  If your checker double bags your groceries, just remember they are actually doing it for a reason…
I see a 64oz carton of orange juice and 2 bottles of Merlot wine coming towards me on the conveyor belt.  I bag the carton of orange juice in its own bag and start to bag the 2 bottles of wine together when the customer stops me…
Miss Don’t Double:  Hey, hey!  I don’t want too many plastic bags. 
I stop bagging…
Miss Don’t Double: Condense it to one bag!
Me: Are you sure?  That’s a bit heavy for these bags…
Miss Don’t Double: That’s fine.
I bag the orange juice and the two wines together and then proceed to double bag when she stops me again…
Miss Don’t Double: Don’t double the bag!  I hate having these stupid plastic bags everywhere.
Me: But it won’t hold…
Miss Don’t Double: Just one bag!
I can only imagine this bag has the potential for disaster.
While I’m checking out the next customer, she grabs her bag and heads out the door when I hear a loud,
“CRASH!”
Without hesitating, I announce on the intercom, “We need a wet cleanup in the lobby!”








        
		
        
		double bag
        

	

     
     
     
	   
	
	
        
        
		Ways to Annoy your Checker #12 – Follow the Prompts
		Posted by PkWynn on December 16th, 2009 | 5 comments


		Paying with a credit or debit card should be easy, right?  However, that usually isn’t the case because every grocery or retail store has a different card reader machine.  Many customers get frustrated because they’re all different and we get frustrated because they fail to follow the directions on the screen.  If they just paid some attention to the prompts on the screen, things would be a lot easier.
Clueless Cardholder:  When do I slide my club card?
Me:  When the reader asks you to, or I can slide it for you.
Clueless Cardholder:  Now what do I do?
Me:  What’s it say?
Clueless Cardholder:  Select payment.
Me:  OK, what kind of payment is it?
Clueless Cardholder:  Debit.
Me:  Press debit.
Clueless Cardholder:  Then what?
Me:  Enter your pin number.
Clueless Cardholder:  Now?
Me:  Yes, now.
Clueless Cardholder:  I pressed the wrong button.  How do I clear?
Me:  Press the clear button.
Clueless Cardholder:  OK, then what?
Me:  I think it’s asking if you want cash back.
Clueless Cardholder:  I don’t want cash back.
Me:  Press the NO button.
Clueless Cardholder:  Where’s the NO button?
Me:  Below the YES button.
Clueless Cardholder:  It says THANK YOU.
Me:  Here’s your receipt, have a great day.
Next customer…
Clueless Cardholder II:  When do I slide my club card?
Me:  …








        
		
        
		follow prompts
        

	

     
     
     
	   
	
	
        
        
		I Rather Have the Beer
		Posted by PkWynn on December 15th, 2009 | 5 comments


		Sometimes I wonder what goes on in a shoplifter’s head.  Do they know what they’re going steal or do they just do it impromptu?  What I do know after working in a grocery store for years is shoplifters steal what they want instead of what they need.  Last night I caught a shoplifter who was homeless.  The items of choice were food and alcohol.  The interesting thing was he went in line to pay for the beer but steal the food.  He bought a 6-pack of Busch beer which was about 5 dollars and stuffed the sandwiches he didn’t pay for in his backpack.  I confront him after he’s done paying for the beer…
Me:  Hey buddy, did you pay for the stuff in your backpack?
I Like Busch:  Uh, my packpack?
Me:  Umm… OK, your packpack.  Did you buy that?
I Like Busch:  I forgot.
I always give shoplifters the chance to buy the items before I do anything drastic.
Me: Just go pay for it and we’ll forget this ever happened.
He acts as if he’s digging in his backpack, I mean packpack, for money.
I Like Busch: I left it at home.
Me: OK, so you want to keep the beer or the sandwiches?
Such an easy choice, right?
I Like Busch: Uh, how much is the sammich?
Me: $4.69…
He takes a look at the beer and sandwich as if he’s comparing the size.
Me: It’s a big sandwich, man.
I Like Busch: I rather have the beer.
Me: You’re not hungry?
I Like Busch: Beer gets me through the day…
Does it for everybody?








        
		
        
		beer
        

	

     
     
     
	   
	        
        
         
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