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Wed Apr 15 23:06:50 UTC 2009
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Rock And Drool
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My Registered & Protected Copyright: http://www.rockanddrool.com/
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Rock And Drool …Mom Gone Mental Home Bling to Drool Over Blogs I Rock and Drool With Little Ol’ Moi Sites I Shop And Drool On…Where Mom Goes When She’s Mental Tales From The Kingdom…An Ongoing Saga? Posted By Melissa on April 15, 2009 The Reigning Queen Supreme gazed at her children with such pride. She was amazed at how they saved their pennies. And pleased at how they gathered their unused electronics to take to the local Ye Olde Game Stoppe shoppe, in hopes of trading in… for the latest. The greatest. The newest. The coolest. Nintendo DSi. And the Reigning Queen Supreme gazed at her children with such pride. Because the only thing they asked for, in order to get the latest, greatest, newest, coolest gizmo… was a ride to Ye Olde Game Stoppe Shoppe. This made the Queen feel like she was doing something right. That her children were actually appreciative of a dollar. Which made them more appreciative of their Nintendo DSi. Because they had found the means. By THEMSELVES. To come up with a way to buy this toy. The day it was put on store shelves. But… this made the King’s children jealous. And angry. They wanted what the Queens children had. And they wanted it NOW. But they didn’t think about trading in their old games. Or trading in their old electronics platforms. Or saving their birthday money. No. They EXPECTED that SOMEONE should buy it for them. Like… The One Who Won’t Be Named Ever Again For Fear Of Having To Shut Down The Blog And Start Over Again. So under the guise of yet ANOTHER birthday present…for a child who hasn’t had a birthday since January…yet somehow keeps getting presents…all year long(because a BRAND NEW Razor Scooter was JUST bought for this EXACT same (un)birthday child by the SAME EXACT people)… A new Nintendo showed up at the Kingdom. For only ONE of the temper tantruming children. And the Queens beautiful children. And the Kings beautiful daughter. Were beyond irritated and mortified. The Queens children…because they were so industrious in order to get theirs gaming system. And no one…guise or otherwise…helped them to get it. Not that they even asked, mind you. The Kings daughter…was horrified because…she waaaaannnnttttsss one too. To put with all of her lost iPods and unused Gameboys. But also, because she doesn’t get this many presents all year long. And they, all three, were crying to the Queen about the injustice of this. And they were screaming about the unfairness. And they were slamming doors…because they like the dramatics. But the mood changed QUICKLY. When the messenger arrived with a package for the (un)birthday boy, bearing a (un) birthday gift. And this package, as it was greedily opened by said child… was a Shiny. Silver. Gently used but refurbished… Nintendo DS…without the i. And while the (un) birthday boy was just as happy to have this… a unified sigh of relief swept through the rest of the princes and princesses like a wave… Because that game system was SO LAST CENTURY. And the oldest Princess Losealotofstuffbutiscuteandadorable…went back to her Facebook. And the Prince Savealotofgamesandwantstodate…took his shiny, brand spanking new DSi…out to take some pictures of himself to put on Facebook for the girl he wants to ask out. And the Princess OMGmysnowglobefinallycamefromdisney…was too busy finding the perfect place in her perfectly kept side of her bedroom, to place her new Tinkerbell snow globe. And Princeigetwhateveriwant…took his game system and went off to play with it. And things in the Kingdom went back normal-ish. And the Queen, once again, gazed upon her children proudly… while smugly thinking to herself… Ha! Ha! Ha! And she wondered… what is going to happen when her son, who turns 13 on Sunday April 19th… is presented with a laptop. Stay tuned for more tales from the Kingdom… Category: crazy family, my life | No Comments » Tags: industrious children, kids who get whatever they want, nintendo dsi, spoiled children Another One Bites The Dust… Posted By Melissa on April 15, 2009 Ahhh….morning. Time to wake up. Get the kids off to school. And have a nice cuppa coffee…I'm all prepared. I have my Splenda. I have my creamer. And my favoite Monty Python Spamalot HUGE mug. I press the on button... Notice, it's on. The little red light is illuminated. Yet...where, OH WHERE is the coffee? Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to take my half awake body, still clad in P.J’s and my son…to the nearest coffee place. Thankfully, they have a drive-thru! Category: Uncategorized | 3 Comments » Tags: Cutting The Cord Posted By Melissa on April 13, 2009 Once upon a time there was a woman. There was this woman who had a baby. A baby who was 13 years old…well, he’ll be 13 on Sunday. This almost 13 year old boy, looked up from his computer over to his Mother who was on her computer and said…as they were both sitting at the kitchen table…one wrapped up in conversation on Facebook. The other trying to think of something to write on her blog, while Twittering and hopping. “When am I allowed to date? Because, I kind of like this one girl. But not as much as she likes me, I don’t think. But…when?” And this woman. She looked at her son. Who isn’t a baby anymore. Not…even close to being a baby anymore. And she said… “You want to ask a girl out? A girl? Really?” And the Mother, whose son wanted to know when it would be OK to ask a girl out, had to hold herself back from either crying or laughing…she couldn’t tell exactly what emotion was wanting to spill forth. And the Mother took another good hard look at her son. And she realized… it’s no use. He isn’t a baby anymore. He’ll never be a baby anymore. But… if he is really serious about asking this cute little girl out… he should strongly consider letting his Mother take him for a shave and a haircut. Because his hair is moppy and dirty looking. And he has a caterpillar crawling across his upper lip that needs to be exterminated. And then…while he’s getting that shave and a haircut… She should strongly consider getting that umbilical cord cut. Because it’s time. Dinosaur book here Category: Uncategorized | 12 Comments » Tags: 13 year old boys, boys discovering they like girls, first dates, omg my son is old, pretty soon he'll be having sex, they grow up before you know it What Is The Chance They’ll Actually Read This? Posted By Melissa on April 12, 2009 Dear Super Nanny, I used to have a teeny tiny bit of control over my children…once upon a time, a long, long time ago. When they were little. And the worse problem I had was dragging them out of Target, kicking and screaming, leaving behind a full shopping cart. *smiles fondly at that memory* Well… They are bigger now. And louder. And smellier. And messier. And they don’t listen to me. Even when I’m screaming and throwing things at them. And it’s harder to drag them out of places, unless I grab them by their hair and lead them roughly to the exit. But then, I’m frowned upon and Social Services shows up at my door. No biggie…the charges were dropped… Let’s talk about our chore assignments in order to get allowance. Let’s just say…they owe me money. And I really need to collect it because I saw this really cool, yet to be released, Wii workout game and I put a deposit on it but, I’ll still owe 55 bucks towards it when it’s released…ANYWAY… But I’ll never get to use that said game. Because I’ll be too busy doing all their chores. And picking up their crap. And monitoring their online life. And doing their…er…forcing them to do their homework. I. Need. Help. Please. I want to be able to proudly write about how well-behaved and angelic all my kids are. Just like my favorite blogs that I read and leave feeling…well…jealous. Thank You, Melissa Dear Dr. Phil, See note to Super Nanny. Then go on to add… I take no blame in the lack of control over my children. In fact, it’s all my damn husbands fault. And while we are at it, it’s my ex-husbands fault. And my husbands ex-wife is part of the problem. And my parents. And my in-laws. But me… I’m the victim here. Being stepped on. And run over. And taken advantage of. By those children. Can you help me? Before I start doing crystal meth. And whoring around. And neglecting my kids. Or worse… Compulsively shopping on eBay while eating Hot Tamales. Thank You, Melissa go on…enter the awesome Dinosaur book giveaway. Go here Category: Uncategorized | 8 Comments » Tags: blog, dr phil, lack of organization, my kids drive me nuts, super nanny Parentisms: Cause And Effect Posted By Melissa on April 11, 2009 Growing up, my parents used to throw the most ridiculous sounding cliches and quotes and…PARENTISMS…at me. These would, inevitably, lead me to some obnoxious teenagerism retort which would lead me to running out the side door to perch myself on my favorite rock…and light up a smoke. As I would watch the smoke curl from the cigarette and circle around my hand (god I must have STUNK back then) I would vow, to all the Gods and deities and superheroes…that I would NEVER. EVER. Say those stupid things to my kids. Because, if anything, it would just cause them to get pissed and go outside to have a cigarette and vow to all their Gods, deities and superheros that they would never say these things to their children. Well…now it’s my parents that can snort and roll their eyes at me. Just…no smoking please. It offends my sense of smell and the whiteness of my teeth. DAILY. Hourly. Minute-ly. I am sounding more and more like them. The enemy. My parents. “You play with shit, you smell like shit.” I’ll pair that with another one of my faves…”Birds of a feather flock together”. Those were their mantras when it came to my friends. And Lori…they didn’t ever mean you so…no worries!! I’ve started saying those to my kids. Because…”All you have is your reputation.” and if you hang out with foul smelling people…you’ll have a shit smelling reputation. And you don’t want that because…”You don’t want to be the girl at the party that every guy has had sex with.” (yeah…really. That was another doozy from my parents.) Seriously, I can’t believe they didn’t traumatize me and cause me to be a hermit. I mean, the way they would talk, you’d think that if I looked sideways at a guy I’d immediately turn into a bad-reputation deserving slut. So, I’m working on my kids. Because I did learn the importance of protecting your reputation. And I sometimes even listened to their advice AND my conscience. And no…I didn’t have a bad reputation…that I know of. If anyone knows any differently, please spill. I’d love to hear the rumors…er…stories. I did try, somewhat, to protect it. But, in all seriousness…I am trying to drill into my children’s heads that, while it’s important to be nice to everyone. It’s also important to pick friends who will not sink you into the depths of Hell. Even though I’m not really sure that us Jewish people believe in Hell. But regardless…they wouldn’t want to go there. So I’m instilling in them the tools that my parents instilled in me. I know. I’m awesome. But then there were those empty threats. Yeah, I’ve taken to those too. Things along the line of… If you keep talking back to me, I’m going to break both your legs and then lock you in your room. Yeah…sure. I’m REALLY going to lock them in their room…er…break both their legs. Or, this is a good one… If you don’t clean your room, you’re going to be grounded from the television for the rest of your life PLUS you won’t even be allowed out of your room. I know…I’m an extremist. Well…so you get the idea. Those are empty threats. Because seriously…SERIOUSLY… But it’s funny because, I get a little more carried away than my Dad used to. I think he would stop after breaking both our (mine and my sisters) legs. But no…I don’t stop there. I break their legs. I knock their glasses through the back of their heads. And I lock them in their rooms for the rest of their lives with no electronics of ANY type! And you know what they do? They roll their eyes at me. See…I told you, I’m giving them the tools my parents gave me. I’m REALLY good at rolling my eyes. And making empty threats. And I’m teaching them well. So they can teach these important lessons to their children And so on. And so on. Shit. My future generations. Are so screwed. Category: Uncategorized | 8 Comments » Tags: empty threats, parental cliches, parentisms, parents, screwing up your children Penguins And Hygiene And Stupid Things Husband Say Posted By Melissa on April 10, 2009 We have tried to teach and encourage good hygiene in our house. On the most part, I think it has gone fairly well. For some things. Kinda. Well…maybe notsomuch. *Brush your teeth twice a day. Well…we do have to remind them. Still. Even at their ages. And I can always tell when they haven’t because, for some reason, their teeth turn a funky orange color. *Shower and wash your hair, at least every other day. We do have to fight with them about this. Well…not all of them. Just the smelly, gross boys. And good god do these kids smell. What ever happened to the sweet smell of little kids? Oh yeah…they grow up. And they don’t smell so sweet anymore. *Wash your hands before meals. Yeah…another fight. They wash their palms but not the tops of their hands. *shakes head* Oh, I’m such a failure as a parent. *Flush the toilet after you poop. Because when they don’t, the dog ends up eating it out of the toilet and it causes me to dry heave. And the house stinks. And…how hard is it to flush a freaking toilet. Just push down on that little lever there, on the back of the toilet. See…was that so hard? You know…the typical stuff you try to teach your kids so that when they are released into the wild…they’ll be able to survive. Or at least, not be the kid that other parents talk about and have their kids avoid…at all cost. One of the survival rules we are having a hard time getting the little guy to remember to do is…wash your hands after going to the bathroom. He, in particular…MUST…wash his hands. Especially the way he wipes. Sometimes I’m not sure he really uses toilet paper or if he just decides to save trees and use his hands. The other day, after a particularly long grunting session on the toilet. We heard the rustling of toilet paper (so I KNOW he used it this time!). And we heard the flush of the toilet. Then… We heard the pitter patter of little feet that still had pants around the ankles. You know that noise. The kind that makes you think that there is a penguin loose in the house… But, what we didn’t hear was the water running. Which led us to believe two things… A…hands were not washed. B…his poop infested hands were coming perilously close to TOUCHING things in the house. And THAT is nasty gross. So…my husband decided to try a new tactic. I like to call it the “scare the poor kid to death” form of following the simple rule of proper hygiene. It went a little something like this… Hubby: Hey. Did you wash your hands? Son: No. Hubby: Did you poop? Son: Yes. Hubby: Did you wipe your tushie? Son: Yep. All by myself. (said very proudly…chest puffed out…sheepish grin) Hubby: Well then, you’d better go and wash your hands. All by yourself. Because if you don’t wash your hands after pooping…you could die. I know…right?! Hubby: And don’t touch anything until you wash your poopy hands because everyone else will die from you. Seriously though. So my poor, scared shitless son…looks at me. Horrified. His blue eye huge. His brown eye…huge-er. And he says… Well what are you waiting for Mommy? Hurry up and wash my hands. Before I die. And he penguin waddled back into the bathroom. And waited in front of the sink…not touching ANYTHING. Looking at me expectantly… What did I do, you wonder? I washed his hands…and mine…with antibacterial soap. Then, I scrubbed down the doorknob and the faucet and the toilet seat and the floor…with Clorox antibacterial wipes…which, by the way…I LOVE. And I worship. And I adore. And buy and go through…waaaaaaayyy too many…along with Swiffer dry wipes…but, I digress…this is about my son and his poopy hands and the thought of dying if he doesn’t wash his hands…not about me and my obsessions. Anyway… That incident happened a couple of days ago. And yes, he’s COMPLETELY gotten over the fear of dying if he doesn’t wash his hands after pooping. Because I’m about to hunt down the penguin and fumigate. And then, I’m buying a crate. Stamping it to say Antarctica Or Bust. And shipping him off to live with real penguins. In the wild. Where he just may belong. And while I’m at it… I think I’ll stuff the smelly boys in there, too. And my husband. Be sure to enter the Little, Brown Dinosaur book giveaway Category: Uncategorized | 7 Comments » Tags: kids, life, pooping and washing hands, smelly boys, stupid things dads say, teaching kids good hygiene Some Recipes From My Sick Bed To You. Minus the Snotty Kleenex. You’re Welcome. Posted By Melissa on April 9, 2009 I just want start this post by saying that my heart goes out to the Spohrs who just lost their darling baby daughter Maddie. That is a parents nightmare. And I am so sorry for them. May they find some sort of peace and comfort in this nightmare-ridden time. And for all of you who are having a Seder tonight, please say a little extra prayer. Also, all over the internet right now, there are paypal buttons set up to take donations for the March of Dimes in honor of this precious little girl. Hereis where you can find more information as to how to donate in Maddie’s memory. Thank you. That post from yesterday. The whole Passover thing and culture and tradition. Well I didn’t get to participate in any of it. I’m sick. See me? I’m all Rudolph the red nosed Jew girl. And sore throat. And frowning. Only, I’m trying not to furrow my brows because that causes fine lines and at my age…they are very hard to combat. Sigh. And to think, I SLAVED. All day. Just like the Jews of yesteryear. Only, I slaved over a hot oven NOT the hot Egyptian sun. Cooking matzo ball soup. And tzimmes. And kugel. NOT to build the great pyramids. For a Seder that I showed up to, only to leave because of feverish shivering, a sore throat and a bright Rudolph-like runny nose. Sick. Instead of participating in the Seder. And shoveling copious amounts of constipating foods mixed with copious amounts of laxative type foods into my mouth. I was in my bed. With my laptop…of course. Twittering. Of course. And shivering. And blowing my nose. So…due to the fact that I’m SICK. I don’t have much to post about. But that is lucky for you because…I have some Passover type recipes that you don’t have to be Jewish to enjoy… Let’s start with my Kugel. It’s outstanding. Trust me on this. I’m known for it. It’s the only reason I’m invited anywhere… You can either use 1 1/2 BOXES of matzo OR 1 1/2 bags of large egg noodles. THAT is up to you. If you are using matzo…run it under warm water…briefly. To get them wet enough to crunch up into bite sized pieces. If you are using noodles…cook according to the package directions. OK…here we go… You will need: dried apricots…diced no exact measurement 1 can crushed pineapple…juice drained golden raisins around a cup or so…or none at all. depends on how you feel about raisins. sugar…approx 1 cup. eggs…4 eggs butter…REAL butter…2 sticks…melted cottage cheese…1 container sour cream…1 container Large metal bowl lasagna sized baking dish preheat oven to 350 How to make… glop everything into the metal bowl. mix well…I use my hands…it’s easier. First I wash them though. Especially when I have a runny nose because…it would be grody otherwise. After everything is well glopped… Dump into the baking dish. Bake uncovered for around and hour or so. Until it starts getting lightly browned on top. If you are using noodles…make sure not all the noodles have turned brown because…well…it just would look ugly. Enjoy. You can eat it cold OR warm. It’s good either way. Personally, I could binge eat on it. Which is why I highly recommend the apricots in there. Dried fruit is the antidote to matzo. And here is another yummy one… Tzimmes. All you need is a crockpot. Potatoes quartered prunes…lots of them short ribs…3-4 pounds beans…prepared according to instructions on bag. or…just throw the dried ones in and pray they cook. I used lima beans. I’ve also used Chorent which is a smattering of all types of beans. Either way…yum. 1/2-3/4 cup brown sugar. some water in the crock pot so it will cook. Ready…because this…is really difficult. Toss it all into the crock pot. Turn crock pot on high. Wait around 4 or 5 hours…or if you have time, a little longer. Enjoy the aroma of your home as the scents from the crock pot wafts throughout. Maybe get some dusting and vacuuming in. Catch up on T.V. Twitter. Bloghop. Viola. Before you know it, you’ve wasted a few hours BUT…dinner is ready! Serve. Eat. Enjoy! From me. To you. And don’t forget the Dinosaur book giveaway here Category: Uncategorized | 4 Comments » Tags: maddie spohr, march of dimes, matzo kugel, passover, sweet matzo kugel, tzimmes, tzimmes recipe Passover Posted By Melissa on April 8, 2009 Tonight, at sundown, Passover begins. Tonight, Jews all over the world celebrate our liberation from the Pharaoh. Tonight, we have a Seder with the retelling of the story of Moses and his life as a Prince. And his life as a leader of the enslaved Jews he led out of Egypt and into Israel, The Promised Land. Tonight, we talk of how many have tried to exterminate or enslave the Jews. But have failed. Because of our strength as a people. As a culture. We will talk of the plagues brought upon Egypt. We will sing songs. We will laugh and drink wine. Our children will watch and wait for Elijah to come and drink the wine from our front porches. And they will search the house for the Afikomen in hopes of winning the coins. All over the world, we are preparing our homes to bring in Passover, in whatever capacity our families observe it. We cook our Passover foods. We set our Seder tables. We bring out our finest china and silverware and crystal. We garnish our Seder plates with the bitter herb, the lamb shank, the egg, the matzo… We are busily preparing to share this holiday with our closest family and friends. It’s tradition. It’s our culture. And this is the one holiday that makes me really feel my Jewishness. It’s the one holiday that always has. Because, Passover was always more about family being together and enjoying each other. And to me, that is really, the true essence of being Jewish. Family. And close friends. And the importance of togetherness. And respect. Passover has always been my favorite of all our holidays. My fondest holiday memories are those of Passover Seder at my grandparents apartment, playing with my cousins in the basement. My grandfathers leading of the Seder. And my grandmothers cooking of food with WAY too much garlic. And I hope… That my children will look back, when they are my age… And they will smile widely at their memories of Passover Seders. And they will be proud to be part of this beautiful religion. And this amazing culture. The way that I am. To all my friends… Whether you celebrate Passover or Easter or any other holiday or tradition this time of year…may it be happy and healthy! XOXO p.s…Dinosaur book giveaway goes until April 20th! Category: Uncategorized | 11 Comments » Tags: blog, happy passover, jewish, jewish life, jewish tradition, passover, proud to be a jew I Think I May ACTUALLY Have A Legitimate Reason To Visit My Psychologist. Posted By Melissa on April 7, 2009 Stop nodding in agreement. Don’t think I don’t see you! For real. I see a shrink. Well, a psychologist. Are psychologists considered shrinks or is it just psychiatrists? Hmmm… Anyway. I see him a couple of times a month. Listen, I have a lot on my plate over here in my real world. I’m raising my husbands son, who happens to be a little bit of a nightmare child. Plus, life. And 4 other kids. And in-laws that try to make me think that I’m a bad, bad person. And…a control freak of a husband. And money problems. And various other “things”. It all sounds so trivial here. In my blog. When the letters come together to make the words and my thoughts are slightly legible. But honestly. It causes me some anxiety. And some distress. And some exhaustion. So…I need to talk to the good doctor. For an emotional adjustment. Every couple of weeks. So I can remain perky. Because, if my boobs aren’t perky anymore, then my emotional attitude needs to be. Hopefully one masks the other. But today. I JUST noticed. I think…shhh…c’mere. I’m going to whisper this because I don’t want anyone else hearing this except for you… I think I might be crazy. A little bit. Not like, go out in the street with those black rubber rain boots, snarly, filthy hair, brown stained teeth, mad eyes, screaming profanities at people and begging for food. No…I’m not THAT kind of crazy. I have a different type of crazy. Are you still leaning in close? Because I’m about to bare my soul to you…kind of. I get anxious when I have to leave my house. There. I said it. I realized it today. As I was getting ready to go grocery shopping for my Passover stuff. I had to talk myself into getting dressed, putting on make up and getting my stuff ready to leave. I had to convince myself that it was OK to get in the car and go to the store. I’ve kind of, slightly, noticed this about myself before. But, I never really thought about it. Until today. And the strange thing is… I’m completely fine when I get to where I’m going. But, this happens…all. The. Time. I have to talk myself into leaving my house. How freaking weird is that? I tried to blame it on being shy. Only…I’m not THAT shy. Not anymore. I tried to blame it on not wanting to leave my computer screen. Only…this started before I started blogging and twittering and…whatevering. Not to mention, my iPhone keeps me connected. At all times. Yeah, thank GOD for iPhones and wifi connections. So now. I for REAL. Have a reason to talk to my shrinkologist. The funny thing is… Last time I was there, I asked him why he keeps wanting me to come see him. And I asked him if it was, perhaps, because I was slightly insane and he didn’t want to hurt my feeling and tell me the truth. And if I wasn’t crazy, couldn’t that time slot be filled by someone who was. He laughed. Like I had just made a joke. Which, obviously, I did. Because apparently… those time slots ARE taken up by someone who is crazy. Well, kinda crazy anyway. But aren’t we all? Kind of? A teeny, tiny bit? What makes you feel like you’re slightly crazy? Or, am I alone? don’t forget that awesome dinosaur book giveaway Category: crazy family, my life | 12 Comments » Tags: book giveaway, dinosaur book giveaway, i think i might be crazy, nuts, psychologists, slight fear of leaving my house Master Paint And Trading In Daddy Posted By Melissa on April 6, 2009 The other night, I had my friend and her family over for dinner. Because my oldest son didn’t feel well, I banished him to his room with his door shut. Don’t worry…I had given him food and a laptop! He was well taken care of. Apparently, he was sitting in the dark, playing around on the computer…doing GOD KNOWS WHAT! Probably Facebook. Anyway… One of the daughters of my friend asked my daughter why my son was sitting in the dark in his room. My daughter replied… “He’s probably master painting.” I’m not sure what she learned in her Family Life class. But, I guess they all are learning the same thing because…no one questioned her about what she meant. Or maybe, that’s what they’re calling it these days? Masterpainting. They waited until they got home and then…they questioned their Mom. Who had to have “that” conversation with them. And called me to give me the heads up as to… What it is EXACTLY my kids are doing in their rooms. When the lights are out. Master painting. I’m so proud. And remind me not to walk into my sons room unless the light is on. K. Thanks. My youngest son is crazy about Imaginext Superheros. Hear that Fisher-Price. MY SON LOVES IMAGINEXT…ahem… Anyways. Due to the fact that he is so flipping spoiled… He wanted, so badly…the one dude that he was missing from the collection. Mr. Freeze. So, what did I do? I did what any mother of any spoiled child would do. I bought it on Ebay. Buy It Now. I didn’t have time to mess around with trying to outbid someone. Nope. My son wanted it now. Immediately. So, I bought it now. And stupid me… I told my son what I did. The night I did it. BIG MISTAKE. Because, for the last 4 days, he has been asking, and waiting, and complaining, and moaning… over when his Mr. Freeze would finally arrive. Well, today…it showed up. Finally. I mean geez. It took a whole 4 days from the time of ordering until it arrived into his slimy little paws. That fast. But for him…it took FOREVER! My husband thought it would be funny to tease my son. When the manila envelope was removed from the mailbox… My son was demanding excitedly to know if this was his long awaited for…Imaginext Mr. Freeze (see Fisher-Price…another plug for you). My husband told him no. He told him that it was Mommy’s necklace that she ordered from Coleen at Manners and Moxie. (Which, I’m asking and waiting and complaining and moaning for and I sit and stare out the window, hoping the mailman delivers it…or the UPS guy. Or…the FedEx guy) The poor kid. He started crying in disappointment. Big, huge tears of frustration. His heart was being ripped from his chest. Quickly, my husband handed him the manila envelope. My son tore it open. And through his tears came the most gorgeous smile of happiness and relief. He told me it was his best day EVER. And thanked me profusely. Yeah…he has great manners. He’s so perfect (not). But tonight. When I was putting him to bed. He mentions that he is mad at his Daddy for teasing him about his Imaginext Mr. Freeze. He told me that Daddy hurt his feelings and pissed him off. OK, fine…made him very upset and angry. Yes…he used his words. I told him that his Daddy thought he was being funny but really…not so much. And he should do what I do…and ignore his Daddy when he thinks he is being funny. But my son had, what he considered to be, a much, much better idea. “Mommy. I’m getting rid of my Daddy. I’m going to give him to someone else. And I’m going to get a new Daddy. Because my Daddy SUCKS.” I said to him…”But we’d miss Daddy. He’s our favorite Daddy. And I love him.” He said…”Don’t worry Mommy. You’ll love my new Daddy too. Because he won’t be fake funny. He’ll be real funny.” Hey…don’t forget…that Dinosaur book giveaway . It ends April 20th! Category: crazy family, my life | 6 Comments » Tags: blog, family, fisher-price imaginext, fisher-price imaginext superheros, funny kids, life, masturbating, trading in parents Next Page » special promo until March 31st. 15% off. enter brodsky15 You're Drooling To Vote...right? RIGHT? var sc_project=4298586; var sc_invisible=0; var sc_partition=54; var sc_click_stat=1; var sc_security="2f6e1178"; 150x250 (Static, 14kb) Come On... This Won't Bite. Do it! This Savvy Quiz Sponsored Bykids' educational toys & games for math & reading skills SIMPLY THE BEST!! 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