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The best wedding gift is a truly joyful wedding – and it’s something you can give yourself.
Every woman has, has had since forever, her own vision of the perfect ceremony.  Big church wedding or small, private ceremony; formal catered or beachfront casual; Mendelsohn or romantic Top 40, it’s all in your head.  What isn’t there is the steps on the way: What to do when your fitter says you look fat in your wedding dress.  How to handle the grandfather who refuses to attend unless all his descendants – down to third cousins – are invited to your tiny, intimate affair.  What to say when a florist wants to substitute flowers in the beautiful centerpiece you approved.
These things happen.  But they’re just bumps in the road. They shouldn’t derail your big day.  The best way to get past them is to learn to be your own best advocate, negotiating your way to what you need and want without upsetting yourself or others.
A wedding has deep meaning for everything involved (even the difficult grandfather!), and planning one is an emotionally charged thing.  It gets even tougher when your plans don’t line up perfectly with, say, your future mother-in-law’s, or when a vendor’s bad attitude or not-quite-right service take away from your joy.  I can help you with this.
Satisfying the needs of your loved ones while voicing and standing up for your own opinions is a tricky balance.  It’s especially hard when planning a wedding, because planning a wedding just isn’t something you do every day.  Wedding planners can help, but even wedding professionals can benefit from better understanding and communication – with the brides, and with other vendors.
FOR BRIDES
Weddings are no time for feeling anger, frustration, or disappointment.  I believe that love means fun, and weddings should be the most fun of all.  In fact, I love weddings so much I told my husband I wouldn’t marry him unless he promised me five weddings – and with two down, I can’t wait for the next one.
My work, my honor, is teaching brides to successfully navigate the inevitable challenges that come with a wedding, and preserve special relationships while removing obstacles with confidence and a positive attitude.  You don’t have to be a bridezilla to get your way, and you should never be a doormat.  It’s possible to be calm and totally in control while creating the wedding you deserve.
Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive or hurtful.  I’ve made a study of weddings.  What brides-to-be say they want is:
•	A safe place to vent their frustration and anxiety with the process without burning relationships or stepping on other peoples’ toes;
•	A fresh, objective opinion that helps them better assess their unique situations and suggests ideas to solve their personal challenges;
•	The ability to move forward calmly;
•	A better understanding of other perspectives;
•	The ability to negotiate confidently and achieve their goals without alienating those around them.
Positively Wed provides brides-to-be with the confidential, neutral sounding board they need in private, 60-minute “thinking” sessions in which they can share their thoughts and anxieties, tease out their concerns from a snarl of emotions, and brainstorm creative solutions to their individual challenges – especially understanding and dealing with others.  (That stubborn grandfather?  He may be thinking the wedding will be his last chance to see all his family in one place.  Role-playing could help you find the words to make him understand that he can have that, but it doesn’t have to be at your wedding.)
For tougher cases, “wedding mediations” are longer sessions in which I meet with all parties involved and use my mediation expertise to facilitate conversation, smooth negotiation, and reach a meaningful solution. I teach all parties to understand the other’s point of view and use that understanding to find a solution that works for everybody.
Clients also have access to “The Bridal Report,” special reports drawn from issues defined by brides that offer valuable information and instruction on matters such as how to choose the right vendor [Dina, I’d turn “how to choose the right vendor” into a hotlink taking people to the “seven questions” piece], negotiate prices amicably, avoid the hurt feelings that could arise from limited guest lists or over-involved in-laws – even re-involve brides who get so overwhelmed by the process that they disconnect from their own weddings.
FOR WEDDING PROFESSIONALS
My training sessions can be invaluable to wedding professionals, too.  You cater to brides, but who’s helping you?  I can help wedding planners, florists, caterers, and any professional who’s passionate about fulfilling a couple’s dreams to work through the inevitable conflicts without bringing a drag on their clients’ special day.  In Thinking Sessions and Bride Power Summits, I’ll teach you time-honored conflict management techniques that will help you set understandable expectations (a blooming daisy is prettier than a wilting rose, and those substitute flowers could be the only way to ensure your couple has the best and the freshest blossoms) and build strong working relationships with your brides and grooms.
Coming soon in my “Wedding Pros” series, I offer wedding professionals mentoring in Mastermind Groups, meetings in which like-minded professionals can discuss and remedy difficult issues, network, and collaboratively grow their business in an ongoing group setting. As way as professional development through special reports and summits.
Not sure if wedding mediation will work for your business?  No worries.   Schedule a complimentary 20 minute “get acquainted” meeting using my contact form, and we’ll discuss how Positively Wed can be that special tool in your wedding emergency toolkit.  But if you’re ready to be less stressed and feel more confident and joyful, take the next step.  Schedule your own Thinking Session.
I can’t promise you every day will be like your wedding day.  But I can promise you confidence and peace of mind – and the tools that will help you resolve life conflicts long after the last thank-you note is written.
Love = Fun.  Your wedding should, too!
Dina Eisenberg, founder of Positively Wed, is an award-winning mediator with 17 years of experience as an attorney and ombudsman.  After training more than 1,000 people to improve their communication skills, the self-described “wedding fanatic” turned her attention to wedding mediation to take the harshness out of wedding prep and take the day from frustrating to fun. 
				
			

			
				
					

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