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	JNez@thirtydaes.com
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					who am i
			JNez is a 36 year old single dad from the bronx straddling worlds. i blog about fatherhood, relationships & accountability but also explicitly about my 21 year struggle accepting my sexuality and managing hiv/aids & depression. JNez is also a news/sports junkie & pop culture expert. i'm finally closing in on an undergrad degree in something (i think it's political science) but my interests have long since wandered into internet technology & digital/social media. you can catch me sharing most of my inappropriate thoughts on twitter during my weekend bachelorhood when stoli & pineapple juice become my companions. fortunately though, i tend to spend most of those moments song binging & subsequently "decorating" artist/song pages on last.fm.or you might know me from the past as a classmate so i'm also on facebook. or maybe even myspace though i'm hardly there. wherever you know me from, welcome to my world. i hope i make you comfy here. 




stay connected to thirtydaes:Of course, now that you're here, I'd like you to stay awhile and tell me what you think of the place. leaving a comment on a post is the preferred option :-) but you can also leave feedback privately. Here's how: for comments/questions/suggestions: send an email to: 
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 what i'm up to: tweets
 i was close...i overpredicted easter week's weather though. still, 4.17.09 is gonna be beautiful http://twitter.com/JNez/status/1474089227 link 15 mins ago i didn't know rockmond dunbar was a capricorn too. our birthdates are 2 weeks apart:  http://tinyurl.com/csm8ng link 20 mins ago this is what we've been watching in the hotel on the dvd player we brought. very very good movie! http://tinyurl.com/csh875 link 27 mins ago omg the car is an utter mess. it needs to be cleaned & reorganized for the trip back tomorrow. that is the first thing on the agenda tmw link 29 mins ago @YoYo_P i have. i didn't bring the usb cord for the camera though so i'll have to wait to upload them until we get home link 3 hours ago @Rambleredhead busch gardens, williamsburg va link 4 hours ago @therealginger the weather was great today! a little cool & windy, but the sun was out with clear skies so we'll take it! link 4 hours ago @WxDan we're gonna check out jamestown before we head up to DC tomorrow afternoon. link 4 hours ago back at the hotel, girls in the pool, of course. last night here :-( link 4 hours ago @therealginger yep. We had a great time though :-) link 5 hours ago
					what i'm listening to: 
			  
		

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                                                Apr
                                                15
                                                2009
                                        
                                        busch gardens, day one: 4.14.09
                                        Words by: JNez in Home,  family,  fatherhood,  vacations  
                                

				
					so we arrived last night in williamsburg, virginia around 7pm to our hotel room @ the hampton inn just 3 miles away from busch gardens theme park. we unpacked real quick, used stealth mode to enter king & queen & set them up. then it was off to wal-mart for some last minute toiletries & a quick dinner at burger king. all the girls wanted to do was lounge in the hotel pool so that’s where we chilled until it closed at 11pm.
i awoke at 9 to check out the free hotel breakfast. hmph. i should have stayed asleep with the girls. there were danishes, cereal, toast, biscuits, and some weird “breakfast pizza bagel.” by the time the girls awoke and saw “breakfast,” they nibbled politely at the pizza bagels before cracking open a bag of chips. i started to protest, but hey—we’re on vacation, right?
the rainy, cool weather had me feeling down emotionally and i wondered what in the world we were going to do today. i’d paid for a 7 day discovery pass to busch gardens, which is incidentally the same price as a one-day admission. the weather forecast was rain & clouds through wednesday so i’m thinking “damn we just got cheated out of 3 days!” i wanted to sulk the rest of the day indoors but by noon we were hungry so i pulled it together, showered, & we headed out.
i was trying to get to arby’s for my beef & cheddar fix, but when we left it had stopped raining and the theme park is only 5 minutes down the road so i said what the hey, let’s check it out. we stopped for a quick lunch at wendy’s and entered busch gardens. what a great decision that was: the weather had kept the crowds away so we had our pick of any & every ride with absolutely zero wait time!
we first hopped the skyway to a division of the park with the biggest & newest roller coaster, griffon. i rode it. not so wise on a full tummy. almost lost my lunch lol. no matter, we carried on, and the girls were brave enough to ride a less ambitious, but still pretty terrifying coaster, the apollo chariot, with me. we strolled around the park, visiting attraction after attraction without waiting in line. some of the rides the girls were able to remain in for seconds & thirds. by then i had to hang on the sidelines, snapping pics & sending updates to twitter lol. i’m not as young as i once was 
still we had a great time, and the best part is we get to do it all again tomorrow, thursday, & perhaps even friday. the weather is supposed to get progressively better until it reaches the mid 70’s on saturday, when, alas, we’ll be on our way back to nyc. still waiting to hear about our white house tour, but we leave williamsburg on friday morning to head to DC for the day/night anyway.
				
2 Comments »
			

		
			
                                
			        	
                                                Apr
                                                13
                                                2009
                                        
                                        spring break @ busch gardens
                                        Words by: JNez in Home,  family,  vacations  
                                

				
					well, the girls & i (and king & queen) are off to celebrate spring break in williamsburg, virginia @ busch gardens. we have passes for the entire week, april 13-17 and a cozy hotel suite @ the hampton inn. we plan to enjoy the theme park, take in a few movies, & get some shopping in. on our way back to nyc, we spend an evening in washington d.c. on friday april 17 where we intend to visit all the historic monuments & also, if we’re fortunate, tour the obama white house. 
we’ve been planning this getaway since early last month and now that it’s finally here, the girls are very excited. we’ll do another road trip like we did for christmas vacation, and enjoy what had better be some nice spring weather in the mid-atlantic region. of course, we’ll keep you updated on our itinerary & what we’re enjoying/enduring on twitter. i’ll post pics of our trip via twitter or my flickr page. also, i’ll try to include at least a summary of our days away here on the blog. but this trip is all about rest, relaxation, & being together as we take our family on the road for spring break 2009 
				
2 Comments »
			

		
			
                                
			        	
                                                Apr
                                                08
                                                2009
                                        
                                        obama administration’s new hiv/aids awareness campaign begins
                                        Words by: JNez in HIV/AIDS,  World,  news  
                                

				
					from the washington post 4.8.09 
The Obama administration began a five-year, $45 million media blitz yesterday to spark awareness about HIV infection and AIDS, saying that Americans have grown complacent about the deadly illness even though it represents “a serious threat to the health of our nation.”
The campaign, Act Against AIDS, will include public service announcements, advertising on trains, buses and other modes of public transportation, text messages and a Web site, NineAndaHalfMinutes.org, a reference to the frequency with which people are infected.
“There is a complacency . . . a false sense of security and a false sense of calm,” said Kevin Fenton, director of the national center for HIV/AIDS at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Every 9 1/2 minutes, someone’s mother, someone’s daughter, someone’s father, someone’s friend is infected.”
Fenton said the campaign will initially target a group that nonprofit organizations overlooked for years as the disease spread: African Americans. Black people make up slightly more than 12 percent of the population, but they represent nearly half of new HIV infections and nearly half of Americans living with the disease, according to the CDC. One in 16 black men will be infected with HIV in his lifetime, along with one in 30 black women.
i think this is a good start for the obama administration’s new hiv/aids policy. the website, nineandahalfminutes.org contains four easy to navigate quadrants providing resources for learning the facts about hiv/aids, preventing transmission of the virus, living with hiv/aids & spreading the word about the campaign. 
consider JNez@thirtydaes.com a part of the solution as this blog has been an advocate for hiv testing/treatment as well as disclosure of one’s hiv status to all potential intimate partners.
for additional resources, visit aids.gov and/or hivtest.org.
				
1 Comment »
			

		
			
                                
			        	
                                                Apr
                                                06
                                                2009
                                        
                                        mlb opening week 2009
                                        Words by: JNez in sports  
                                

				
					
the 2009 mlb baseball season kicks off this week and while most of new york is electricified with the new stadiums that my yankees & mets are breaking in this year, there is still a full slate of nationally televised games to kick off the season this week. 
as usual, espn & espn2 are airing 5 games on opening day, including, of course  games featuring the new york mets @ cincinnati at 1pm eastern & a 400 start for the new york yankees @ baltimore orioles. in between, there’s also an alcs rematch in boston between the tampa bay rays & red sox at 2 eastern.
the evening games include the chicago cubs @ houston at 7 & a home opener for the los angeles angels against oakland at 9pm. a full day of baseball indeed for your opening week 2009. 

the yankees official home opener at the new yankee stadium is next thursday, april 16. the mets play their first official game in their new citifield stadium next monday, april 9. 

				
2 Comments »
			

		
			
                                
			        	
                                                Apr
                                                05
                                                2009
                                        
                                        king & queen
                                        Words by: JNez in Home,  family  
                                

				
					so…our family just got bigger lol. meet king & queen, two 3 week old kittens we rescued yesterday. the girls are overjoyed and i’m kinda getting into caring for them. we feed them kitten formula (i didn’t even know there was such a thing) from a bottle (!) and even have to burp them. they cry like infants & are just learning to walk. 
we actually can’t tell exactly what their genders are yet because they are that small lol. we’ll definitely know by next weekend. we can tell them apart though. king is the smaller one who’s a little more aggressive. queen eats more and can be fussy, but she sleeps mostly. she’s got an orange spot on her forehead. in the pic king is laying on his side. 
it’s been cute learning their personalities & seeing them grow already after only a weekend. they’ve both used the litter box and are lapping up formula from a small bowl. maybe we’ll wean them off the bottle for good mid-week lol.
it’s good there are two because you know the girls fight over everything lol. now they have their own kitten to help raise. it’s gonna be a great experience for all of us. we’ll keep you posted (and posting pics) as king & queen grow 
				
3 Comments »
			

		
			
                                
			        	
                                                Apr
                                                05
                                                2009
                                        
                                        2009 academy of country music awards
                                        Words by: JNez in Entertainment,  awards,  music  
                                

				
					carrie underwood wins an historic entertainer of the year award at this year’s academy of country music awards show last night in las vegas. it’s the first win for a woman in that category since the dixie chicks & shania twain 10 years ago. the 2005 american idol winner also captured a third consecutive top female vocalist award.
taylor swift, who has the year’s top selling cd, “fearless,” won album of the year. my man brad paisely is the top male vocalist for a 3rd consecutive year, although he appeared via satellite from home, awaiting the birth of a child. single of the year went to breakthrough artist jamey johnson for “in color.” i hadn’t heard of jamey johnson but i checked out his cd that lonesome song on iTunes. not bad.
rascal flatts took home top vocal group and performed a great arrangment of their current hit song “here comes goodbye.” the lead singer has a blue eyed soul kind of vibe in his voice. definitely recommended; rascal flatts have a decade-long catalog to make your way through, in addition to a new cd, unstoppable, out on tuesday, 4.7.
 big story of the night at the acm’s though is definitely carrie underwood & taylor swift’s wins for entertainer & album of the year. their cd’s and rascal flatt’s new one are worth checking out if you haven’t already.
				
No Comments »
			

		
			
                                
			        	
                                                Apr
                                                04
                                                2009
                                        
                                        estranged
                                        Words by: JNez in Thoughts,  apologies,  family,  relationships  
                                

				
					
when i start to add up the number of people that i’m no longer communicating with i’m alarmed because it’s growing. i am isolating further and further from family members. i can’t even explain why it’s happening…i don’t feel any animosity towards anyone i’ve stopped communicating with. in fact, i miss them. i wish we were in contact. i don’t know how we stopped communicating. well…it’s my fault. i didn’t call you back. i never call you back. in fact, i never call you at all. i’m sorry. i don’t mean not to. i love you. i think about you often. i’m not angry, i’m really not. i just don’t like to talk on the phone much. i don’t have the attention it often requires. not that i don’t have attention for you. i mean, i do. but…there are other ways to communicate now. i know you think i’m being selfish, always wanting things my way. “everything has to be on his terms” i know you angrily retort. i’m sorry. i don’t mean to be that way. i guess it’s a reaction to the past. there’s so much in our past. good and bad. old wounds….and now new wounds on top of old wounds. i’m sorry. i love you. i don’t want you out of my life. i don’t want us to be estranged. but how perverse to miss you and not call you. i’ve emailed you though, and sent you texts that you seldomly respond to. sure my attempts to reach out may be alcohol induced but that’s only because it numbs me sufficiently to risk rejection and reach out to you again.  i can’t believe we’re estranged.
				
3 Comments »
			

		
			
                                
			        	
                                                Apr
                                                03
                                                2009
                                        
                                        another april massacre
                                        Words by: JNez in World,  news  
                                

				
					today’s mass shooting in binghamton, new york is just the latest in an unsettling trend of high-profile april massacres over the last 20 years. 14 people were killed today, april 3 when a lone gunman entered an immigrations services center and opened fire. they join the 33 victims of the virginia tech shooting two years ago on april 16; and the 12 students and 1 teacher that lost their lives when students dylan klebold & eric harris opened fire inside columbine high school 10 years ago on april 20. 
14 years ago, on april 19 1995, timothy mcveigh parked a moving van full of explosives in front of the alfred p. murrah federal building in oklahoma city. when it detonated, half of the building crumbled and 168 people perished. it was the deadliest day in american history until 9.11.01. timothy mcveigh’s massacre was timed to coincide with the 2 year anniversary of the government’s raid on a compound in waco, texas. the inferno at the branch davidian cult of leader david koresh claimed 76 lives on april 19, 1993.
additionally, april has seen several high profile assassinations of public figures, most notably, martin luther king jr., on april 4 1968 and president abraham lincoln on april 15 1865. also, on april 3 1996, commerce secretary ron brown was killed along with 34 others when an air force airplane they were traveling in crashed in croatia. 
the largest april death toll appears to have been on april 14 1912 when titanic sank after hitting an iceberg in the north atlantic ocean. 1,517 perished on that day. 
so what’s the deal with april? it’s one of my favorite months and is supposed to represent new beginnings & spring; the end of long, harsh winter. trees & flowers bloom, replacing the brown barrenness of winter with lovely reds, greens & golds. to be sure, april is also a month of extremes here in the northeast: i recall snowstorms followed astoundlingly soon after with record 90 degree temps in recent years past. there’s also (usually) easter, (formerly) the start of daylight savings time, spring break, and of course: birthdays! two of the most celebrated in my family bookend the month: my late grandmother was born on april 2 and my middle daughter actually arrived at sunrise on her due date of april 26 1999. 
so unfortunate the death toll in april throughout the years. we’ll no doubt be hearing more about this unsettling connection between april & dramatic loss of life as the month progresses and details emerge from the binghamton shooting while we mark the anniversaries of virginia tech, oklahoma city & columbine.
*update: just one day after i published this, two additional multi-victim shootings occured. on april 4 in pittsburgh, 3 police officers were shot to death responding to a domestic disturbance call. hours later, in the state of washington, a father shot his 5 children to death before killing himself after learning that his wife was leaving him for another man.
				
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				thursday april 16 2009 
			







		
					Spring 2009 Sports Calendar
			MLB 20092009 MLB Season Openers
April 6
110e New York Mets @ Cincinnati Reds ESPN205e Tampa Bay Rays @ Boston Red Sox ESPN2 
405e New York Yankees @ Baltimore Orioles YES 

705e Chicago Cubs @ Houston Astros ESPN2 
905e Oakland A's @ Los Angeles Angels ESPN 



April 8
705e New York Yankees @ Baltimore Orioles  YES 
710e Tampa Bay Rays @ Boston Red Sox ESPN 


April 9
135e New York Yankees @ Baltimore Orioles YES 



April 11
410e Boston Red Sox @ LA Angels  MLBtv

April 16
105e Yankees New Stadium Home Opener: Yankees vs. Cleveland Indians  MLBtv


2009 NBA Playoffs
April 19
100e NBA Playoffs Begin 








  



		
					Spring 2009 Entertainment Calendar
			CD Releases


March 10
The Dream: Love vs. Money

J. Holiday: Round 2

Kelly Clarkson: All I Ever Wanted






March 24
Hannah Montana: The Movie Soundtrack

Blue October: Approaching Normal

Keri Hilson: In A Perfect World

Israel Houghton: Power of One

March 31

Flo-Rida: R.O.O.T.S.

Keith Urban: Defying Gravity

Diana Krall: Quiet Nights

April 7
Rascal Flatts: Unstoppable

Jadakiss: The Last Kiss

Jason Aldean: Wide Open

Jesse McCartney: Departure: Recharged

April 14
Day26: Forever In A Day

April 21
Rick Ross: Deeper Than Rap


Chester French: Love The Future



May 5

Ciara: Fantasy Ride

Chrisette Michelle: Epiphany

Elliot Yamin: Fight For Love

May 15
Green Day: 21st Century Breakdown

May 19
Eminem: Relapse



		
 iTunes top 10 songs
1. Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas2. The Climb - Miley Cyrus3. We Made You - Eminem4. Poker Face - Lady GaGa5. Right Round - Flo Rida6. Crazier - Taylor Swift7. Day 'n' Nite - Kid Cudi8. Hoedown Throwdown - Miley Cyrus9. Kiss Me Thru the Phone (feat. Sammie) - Soulja Boy Tell 'Em10. You Found Me - The Fray
 iTunes top 10 albums
1. Hannah Montana: The Movie (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) - Miley Cyrus & Hannah Montana2. Unstoppable - Rascal Flatts3. Swoon - Silversun Pickups4. Forever In a Day (Bonus Track Version) - Day265. Twilight (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) - Various Artists6. The Fame - Lady GaGa7. The Last Kiss (Bonus Track Version) - Jadakiss8. The Open Door - EP - Death Cab for Cutie9. The Fray - The Fray10. Les Miserables (The Original London Cast) - Les Misérables Original London Cast
			 
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