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        March 14th, 2009My Wilderness
	  
		
			I’m celebrated my 2nd spiritual birthday last August, second because it was on August 8, 2001 that I renewed my faith in the Lord.
I first accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour during a youth camp on May 1995 but at that time I was still very young and maybe I did not fully understood what it means to be a born again Christian. I took a slide and I was at the wilderness, trying to find my way around. It was only when I had fallen very ill with Lupus that I renewed my faith and fully accepted Jesus in my heart.
I became a servant in the Lord’s ministry, I gave up my job and fully committed my life in serving God. I turned away from the comfortable life I am accustomed to have and really went on my way to serve and please God. I thought that was God’s plan for my life and I was honestly happy with what I’m doing but I’m not sure what God had in mind when He let something terrible shook my faith and trust from my church. It was back in December 2004 that I experienced the greatest sadness in my life, a betrayal from the people I trusted and learned to love. It was also the lowest point in my life, it still brings me great sadness every time I think about what happened. It was during these times that I turned my back in the ministries and stop going to church.

I am once again at the wilderness, I know where to go but I am definitely lost. I know which way to take but I’m scared to take that path again. For some time now, I managed to keep my faith in God despite my absence in the ministries and irregularly going to church. There was a time that I had become so far away with God that I can’t even pray to Him anymore but through it all God never ceases to love me, although many times I feel unworthy of His grace, He always keeps me blessed and loved.
I am still in the wilderness, trying desperately to get out from it. It’s a struggle and I know I had forgiven all those who had hurt me, I am just finding a hard time forgetting what they’ve done but I know at some point I need to let go and forget, so that I can have a clear view of the road ahead and finally use the lowest event in my life into something great.
Recovered Post from August 07, 2008
		
		
			Personal No Comments »
		
	
	
	  
    
	  
        February 23rd, 2009How Did You Love Somebody Like Me?
	  
		
			I sometimes wonder why…
Why you still love me?
I just can’t understand…
How did you love somebody like me?
I was blinded but you let me see
I was lost but you found me
I was broken but you made me whole
I felt empty and alone but you filled me with your presence…
You reached out to me like no one else did
You strengthened my weakening heart
You lifted me up when I failed
You wipe away my tears and let me smile again
You took me out from the darkness and into the light
You made a nobody like me, a somebody…
It is by your love that I am saved
I will be forever thankful, I will forever rejoice
That somebody like you, loved someone like me
And it is your love, that’s keeping me alive…
		
		
			Inspirational,  Personal 1 Comment »
		
	
	
	  
    
	  
        February 21st, 2009Do You Understand God?
	  
		
			
It’s funny how we try to understand God, funny in the sense that we don’t realize how vast his majestic power is and we sometimes forget that He is the Supreme Being and we can’t even come close to His thoughts… so why are we trying so hard to grasp Him?
God alone knows everything, He is in control and we can  just trust Him and put our lives in His hand, after all, He has the best plans for our lives far much better than what we plan for ourselves.
We are not meant to understand God’s way but we can accept it wholeheartedly that it is only the best and only way…
		
		
			Devotion,  Inspirational No Comments »
		
	
	
	  
    
	  
        February 17th, 2009Looking Good
	  
		
			
My brother and I attended a wedding of a friend yesterday. It was a wonderful occasion and I had a nice time with my friends. What I love most about socializing yesterday was everyone was telling me how good I look being trimmed down and I just feel overwhelmed. I am so glad to lose weight even without taking any weight loss pills and I just feel so light and beautiful. The wedding was not as conventional but I still had a fun time.
		
		
			Internet Stuff,  Randomness 1 Comment »
		
	
	
	  
    
	  
        February 17th, 2009Keeping It Safe
	  
		
			For a while now I’ve been telling my mom that we should have a home alarm system placed in our house especially that we are all girls at home. My brother is usually not around and it’s rather alarming when we often hear stories about burglars and most of the time there’s no around our house so having an alarm can alert our neighbors just in case bad people tries to break in.
		
		
			Internet Stuff,  Randomness No Comments »
		
	
	
	  
    
	  
        February 17th, 2009Pray Fervently
	  
		
			
During my bible study last week, my cell group leader asked how our prayer time is and if we are spending time to speak and listen to God’s word. I have to admit that most of the time I pray as if I’m ought to go somewhere and usually I am. Sometimes I just don’t have the time and there’s just too many work to be done that I rush in prayer and I am so tired at night that I can’t bring myself to God longer. I know I’m not pleasing God, He wants me to find and spend more time with Him.
Why is it when we want something so bad from God we can pray all day until we get the answer we want? Why when things are not turning out okay, we pray as if there’s no tomorrow? But when things are just fine, we seem to have forgotten God. We must always pray fervently to Him and let our desires and praises reach Him at all times.
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express” 
Romans 8:26
		
		
			Bible Reflections,  Devotion,  Inspirational,  Personal No Comments »
		
	
	
	  
    
	  
        February 16th, 2009All For Love
	  
		
			All for love, a Father gave
For only love can make a way
All for love, the heavens cried
For love was crucified
And how many times have I broken Your heart
Still You forgive if only I’d ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me
EVERYTHING I NEED IS YOU,
MY BEGINNING, MY FOREVER
EVERYTHING I NEED IS YOU
Let me sing all for love
I will join the angels’ song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of glory, King of all
All for love a Savior prayed…
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the cross draw man to You…
====>> I cried, when I first heard this song. It really moved me. I can’t help but wonder “how many times have I broken God’s heart” and how unworthy I am for His undying love.
I feel such a failure. I know that I have a gone astray and disappointed God, once more. Should I point anyone to blame? Nah… it’s all me! I still can’t find it in my heart to truly forgive and forget all those who have hurt me in the past and its rather difficult to trust anyone again after all those betrayals. I just don’t have the heart like God, and many times I pray for healing and restoration but somehow I’m just not there yet.
Its scares me that I feel very far apart from God and I don’t know why do I feel numb or probably I chose not to feel anything anymore just to save myself for another misery. Right now, I know I’m fine. I’m actually doing great and I’m happy. Then why do I still find it exhausting?? Because at the end of the day I still know what matters the most, that is to be with God.
There’s nothing I want more than to live the life that God wants for me but I’m way out of my path. I don’t think I’m lost, I know where I should go but somehow I got stuck and trapped within the walls I’ve created for myself. In time, when I’m ready in God’s perfect timing I will embrace the road that leads to Him again. Till then.
		
		
			Devotion,  Inspirational,  Lupus,  Personal,  Sticky No Comments »
		
	
	
	  
    
	  
        February 15th, 2009God’s Comfort
	  
		
			The Lord hears good people when they cry out to Him, and He saves them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the broken-hearted , and He saves those whose spirits have been crushed.
Psalm 34:17-18
A few years back a friend gave me a book “Where is God when we hurt?” and I’m not really sure if I fully understood what the author meant but up to this date I am still wondering where is God when I’m hurting… I want to believe and I do believe that He’s there but what I would like to know is what he plans to do to stop me from hurting. 
Many times we lose hope when the pain is too much to bear and no matter how strong you try to be sometimes you just want to scream and shout you give up, maybe then God will hear you. I don’t want to question God, I am putting all my trust in Him that He knows what I’m feeling and His doing something about it, and He alone can comfort me and His doing everything I can’t and soon things will get better… soon!

		
		
			Bible Reflections,  Devotion,  Inspirational,  Personal No Comments »
		
	
	
		
	
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					The Blessed Chic
			I'm Emmyrose, a 30-something Born-Again Christian. A simple girl with big dreams of becoming a person that God wants me to be. My life used to be perfect, at least that's what I thought.. until I was struck by an invisible disease called Lupus & everything in my life changed. Life is never easy but I have always been blessed and life may be unfair but God is good. 
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