Where have I been? What have I been doing?
Whatever…where have you been?! What have you been doing?!
Alright, fine! I’ll tell you what was so important that I thought it was fine to not post a new blog entry for a week.
It pretty much looked like this…
Don’t you dare judge me. I needed this downtime on my sister’s oversized chair in fuzzy monkey socks to make it through Thanksgiving!
How else do you cope with a botched attempt to leave New York City on the Tuesday before, only to be turned away when the buses are too full? I tried venting with friends via text, (”This city is a being such a d–k!” I hate it here!”), but that didn’t help much.
How do you make sense of the fact that every person who lives in Upstate NY refuses to acknowledge how cold their old, drafty houses are?! My entire family walks around their homes in t-shirts and jeans, while I’m wearing every hooded sweatshirt I can get my hands on.
How can you possibly keep up with the new Thanksgiving dinner joke? Since no one ruined their contribution to the meal this year, my family fought to take credit for each other’s dishes. If someone complimented a Thanksgiving treat, it was imperative to rush in and steal the chef’s thunder. It’s an impossibly layered joke that goes something like this.
“Wow, this broccoli casserole is awesome!”
“Oh hey! Remember when I forwarded that recipe to you?!”
“Uh huh”
“Yep, yep. That’s right. You’re welcome. You’re welcome, everybody!”
or…
“God, this squash is delicious!”
“Remember when I tasted it for you this morning and I told you it was good?!”
“Whatever…”
“Yeah, yeah…I have really good taste. You’re welcome, everybody!”
Don’t you see how hard, exhausting, irritating and fun this must have been for me?! Obviously, the only way I could manage all of this was to shut down any instinct of adult responsibility and just yield to and overdose on Maximum Comfort!
Yes, it was hard to skip blogging! But who else was going to watch The Cosby Show marathon on TV Land? Somebody had to finish the amazing and perfect novel Persepolis?! Do you know how many couches I had to lay on to make sure they were comfortable enough for napping?! Bottom line, I had to a lot to NOT do this Thanksgiving. How could I possibly have fit in writing?!
It’s ok. I forgive you. I know you had no idea how hard and comfy this must have been for me. We’re back on track now.
You’re welcome.
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