I think I should have started a ‘Pet Peeves’ category a long time ago. We all have pet peeves and it always feels good to be able to rant about them. And what better place to have a rant than your own personal blog? Since things have been unusually hectic, stressful and even downright dark here at Melindaville lately, I thought I would cheer things up a bit with some light-hearted banter about some of my biggest pet peeves, which are (in no particular order):
1. Rushing in to use a toilet and finding the roll of toilet paper is empty! And going along with this is (#2)
2. Toilet paper dispensers that do not allow the roll to move freely, meaning you can only break off one tiny (and insufficient) square at a time. Most rest stops are guilty of employing this tactic as a toilet tissue cost saving measure. But this annoys the hell out of me.
3. Believe it or not, men, you aren’t the only ones who pee while standing up! A huge segment of the female population does this, leaving their little ‘gift’ of urine drops on the seat for the next unsuspecting toilet user. This really drives me nuts! I have scolded women for doing this when I catch them in the act. I feel so strongly about this one that perhaps this even warrants public service campaign—the slogan can be, "If you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.”
4. Automated telemarketer calls! What. The. HELL? You nearly kill yourself, rushing from the shower, wet, naked, and slipping on the floor to get to the phone in time, only realize it is not even a human being but some automated telemarketer who has put you on hold! For SHAME!
5. Finding an item you can’t live without and then seeing there is no price tag attached.
6. Standing in queue behind someone waiting for a price check on items with no price tags.
7. Being called “Ma'am.” I know I am old. And yes, probably old enough to be called “Ma’am” but please, humor me and call me “Miss” (for those of you in the service industry—this automatically bumps your tip up (or down) a few dollars).
8. Dressing room mirrors that deliberately make you look thinner. You find that great dress that makes you look thinner in the dressing room mirror, only to return home to your own (realistic) mirror and find it makes you look as chunky as you really are! These should possibly be illegal. Or at least regulated by the government.
9. Poor Drivers in general—but several offenders actually deserve their own private category and I feel it is my duty to pay homage to each group of annoyers in their own showcase.
9a. Drivers that pull out in front of you at the last minute, causing you have to either slow down or hit them. Most annoying are the ones who watch as you approach, then at the last minute, pull out. Why? Do. You. Do. This? Also, adding to the peeve is the fact that most of these folks usually drive as slow as molasses once they do this, too (are you listening Commonwealth of Massachusetts?).
9b. Going along with the previous: Drivers that pass you and then slow way down.
9c. People who drive well below the speed limit—in the fast lane.
10. People who answer their cell phones and then hold long conversations when you are out at dinner with them. Perhaps the caller is more interesting than I am—but this is just so blatantly rude
11. When smoke alarms go off when I am cooking (unfortunately, this happens a lot).
12. Being selected for extra screening by the TSA. I particularly loathe the TSA officers who like to pretend they are cops. It’s gotten even more annoying since they all got new cop-like uniforms.
13. Windows automatic updates. You come back to your computer to find it has restarted and you lost all the work you were doing when the automatic update kicked in.
14. People who say, “I know how you feel” when they clearly do not.
15. Losing work due to computer crashes (that blog post that was lost was my best EVER—and now it’s gone, FOREVER!).
16. People who talk in hyperboles: “that blog post that was lost was my best EVER—and now it’s gone, FOREVER!”
17. People who talk in the third person: “Melinda has some pet peeves she’d like to tell you about.”
18. People who tell me how wonderful bats are for our environment after I tell them about my terrible bat phobia.
19. Putting on a new pair of expensive hosiery and seeing an immediate runner appear (I will never buy Spanx sheer stockings again!).
20. The government’s Emergency Alert System (you know, the “This is only a test” thingy). It always seems to pre-empt the most important moment in the television show you are watching. I saw a report on this on 60 minutes—they mentioned that the alert system had never actually been used! Not even during 911! Our tax dollars at work, folks!
So, that’s my list (for now). What annoys the hell out of you?
(This was fun!)
Peace,
Melinda
