Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other. – Walter Elliott
That’s right, the title says it all! I have now attained 1000 viewers on my pathetic excuse of a blog! Woah this calls for celebrations. I seriously did not expect it to go past 10 people after 2 months so this is quite a surprise to me!
So to celebrate this achievement, I shall dedicate this entire blog post to YOU the viewer! Yup that’s right all one thousand of you will be given a big THANK YOU message at the conclusion of this blog to show my vast vast appreciation.
So here goes:
Wan touzand
From the bottom of my heart I want to take this opportunity in regards to all 1000 viewers out there….
WAIT ONE SECOND!
The list needs to be trimmed down and re organized. Firstly out of those 1000 individuals 298 don’t exist! What? How can they not exist? Well that is according to this link they don’t and wordpress.com does funky stuff with the stats re inflating them. OK OK that’s fine, I won’t give up on this minor setback:
Pootie tanging? Scary Movie 4 ref? what?
To all 702 real and living individual viewers out there I just wanted to say…
WAIT JUST A MINUTE HERE!
Actually, now that I think about it, that number above is wrong as well. I just remembered about all the times I actually access my wordpress blog from university and there are times that I forget to log on! So that brings the total number of viewers EXCLUDING me to um… 394 (What I like my own creation no matter how much it sucks ). But it’s OK that still leaves me plenty of people to be grateful for:
Would you buy the above number for $484 bucks + P&H? Word…. er I mean… Number….
So then; to all 394 viewers out there that don’t include me and do actually exist..
Wait wait wait wait…. To be fair now, not everyone deserves thanks. I mean think about it. Some people came here because it was ‘their job’ to come here. Look at all those sidebar widgets and blog directories and all the other useless crap on the side of my blog. For a lot of them, I had to actually sign up, wait for someone from their copany to pop in and make sure my blog doesn’t consist of child molestation or spam before I get added to their list. Ok that brings it down to 256 viewers.
Believe it or not, that is the final level of Pacman (Yup level 256).
Well then; to the select 256 viewers, that came here on a voluntary non-pay, non-job related basis, it is my honour to…
“Aaaaaaargh what now!”, the crowd (er invisible crowd) is asking in a frustrated manner. There is another group of viewers that also need to be excluded. That’s right you know who I am talking about. The sploggers/scrappers and all relations to them (hosts/lawyers/judges etc checking up my site before they go about shutting their splog site down). This is fairly self explanatory so I will move on. OK now I am left with… Oh my… 143 people.
1″do not” 43… SORRY!
So to all 143 people out there that came here on their own will with no intentions..
STOP STOP STOP!!!!! You hear me?
or
There is ONE FINAL (haha yeah right) exception that I need to make. To be fair there has been a number of places where I have gone first (including wordpress forum) before they came to me. Yeah that’s right… So this actually brings down the correct value to 55 viewers. Schfifty five? You thought right haha!
But anyway: excluding all those that came here via Google searching for “old naked ladies” and “old lady taking a poop” among other disgusting things (I am sadly not joking , but to make fun out of them, I shall post a blog dedicated to all the randomness that comes my way! :) ) This really brings down the value to:…………………………*drum roll*………
Thanks Charlie for the excellent drum roll. Please put your T-shirt back on now.
-24 no wait, 23 INDIVIDUALS.
From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU all 23 viewers out there for stopping by.
Looking forward on celebrating my next achievement of reaching 46 individual viewers that do really exist, exclude me, came here by accident while they were not getting paid, are living and not undead, are not involved with stealing my blog, came here before I saw their blog and didn’t get here while searching for something sexual on google. Boy does that narrow it down.
Peace out!
